Word of the Day

So, on Friday I had an endobiopsy--or I should say another endobiopsy. The first one was at the end of May to determine what we already knew---We were dealing with an ecotopic and there was no pregnancy tissue in my uterus. This one was to determine if there is a reason why said embryo may have wanted to wander out of my uterus--possibly an infection. My doctor determined I needed this prior to my last Methotrexate shot and prior to my first endobiopsy (which was a last ditch effort to try and have me avoid the 3rd Methotrexate shot). Anyway, I think I blogged about it then, this endobiopsy is really overly cautious. They don't really think I have an infection but want to rule it out. Anyway, for something that was perhaps not needed it really is uncomfortable. My first endopbiopsy I was bleeding (remember it was my period, but not my period--and not the ectopic passing). It hurt very badly when they did it, but not so much after. Now this one didn't hurt as badly when they were doing it, but left me with spotting (which could have happened last time too) and pain! But part of me thinks this is ovulation pain. Although when it concentrates on my right side I blame the ectopic and possible break away pain and/or scar tissue. So, of course I googled 'ovulation pain' and it turns out that it has a name= MITTELSCHMERZ --love that name! Totally fun right! Don't google image it though---it is a lot less fun to see then say.


I left the clinic on Friday really upset though. I asked my DH why he thought I was so emotional about having to even walk through those doors again. He made a good point and said, well, only bad experiences are tied to that place for you. And it is true. Nothing good has happened to me there. That is not to be negative or melodramatic. Really, I can't think of a good thing. So, when I left, I cried. I don't even know why or what about. I just couldn't believe I had to deal with this endobiopsy or anything for that matter. I know that if we want to go back there, it will happen for us, when it is our time. The amount of strength it is going to take to walk through their doors for an actual ultrasound to measure my lining (which may lead to a another possible ectopic, which may lead to another endobiopsy, and over and over).  I can't even imagine.

Also, I am off to vacation Friday at noon until August 27th! Nothing but soaking up the sun and doing nothing but relaxing! Although I learned that the sun depletes Folic Acid--not so good---but guess who doesn't care?  Me.


My hope---Gone With the Pain. (aka Mittelschmerz)