Just the begining

You know when you look at those infertility posts they have their lists of what they have been through--all their failures and if successful, their betas--and sometimes you see the emoticon with the angel wings (SAD!). Well, it just hit me, just, when I was reading one of the blogs I follow, that this fail at IVF could be just the damn beginning of a long journey. How did that just hit me? I mean how many things am I going to have on my list--how many IVF's and FETS and IUI's and angel winged emoticons might I have? The thought is overwhelming, which is why as much as I realize it, I don't think the idea can stay in my conscious mind long. I mean I could be at the bottom of a mountain here with a long way to go until I get the top!  Like that horrible game on Price Is Right (which is actually called CLIFF HANGERS)...


Then plop---he falls right off the edge if you go over on your guess! When I think of it that way I think I would rather be close to the bottom--I mean I don't want to be close to falling over the edge (that is for sure).  I always hated this little yodeling mountain climber guy game. Now, PLINKO, that was the game I loved on the Price is Right.

I don't want to keep doing this fertility stuff, I don't want to keep thinking about it or trying not to think about it. I just want my baby and let's move on with life. Or if there is going to be no baby, then let's move on with life. This mountain climbing is making me tired AND I have always been more of an inside type of person. Maybe I have already fallen off the edge?


"The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain."-Dolly Parton