Supernanny

I love the show Supernanny. I have no idea what about it I love so much. I swear I end up in tears most of the time. When the mother successfully does the seperation anxiety technique, or the child sits in the time out chair, or the couple start to work together as a team. I know it seems that I get tearful because of the in-fertility issue. The truth is it is more a happy and proud kind of tearing up, which I guess is the social worker in me. Being proud of people for attaining their goals. I've never mentioned this, but my DH sleeps, a lot. He gives too much of himself at work and when he comes home he has nothing left and falls asleep. SOmetime he will do some housework/lawnwork first, but mostly, he just sleeps. He got tested and he has Epstein Barr, but I think that is really only part of the problem. Truly, I think he gets himself wound up at work, sits in traffic over an hour both ways on his commute and is too tired for life. Also, he hurt his back so last night he took medication that made him go to sleep even earlier (7:30!!!). I have always joked that I could have a totally different life after 8:00 and he wouldn't even know it. I could go out leave, be back by 5am and he wouldn't even know it. He is also a HEAVY sleeper.

So, there I was sitting there at 8PM watching Supernanny (It is always on the STYLE network). And I had a thought. I have spent so much time and given myself so many reasons why  God won't give me a baby ---I should blog about them one at a time--I could blog forever. All self-depricating and self protective rationalizations of a cold hard fact---NO BABY. I never thought that maybe it is not me that GOd won;t give a baby to. It is us. How would I do it, alone? My husband will continue to sleep. It is what it is. Not that he won't want to help, I really don't know if he would be able to help. SO #325 why GOD WON'T GIVE US a BABY---Sleepiness.

While watching Supernanny they kept playing commercials for Guiliana and Bill, the episode is coming Monday where, during their 'year of fun' Guilianna sounds interested in trying again and Bill thinks they are on a break so he is confused. My DH is done I think. Done with the idea of IVF, of babies, of never golfing on the weekend because he has to take care of a child=DONE. I can't say I blame him. And I can't say that I disagree with him. It should be an interesting conversation if/when it happens. I am interested to see how Guilianna and Bill's goes now too.

My hope for today---I can't think of one. So I will go with --a resoultion to the National Debt Crisis that doesn't include making me pay more money to just live and work.