ER...and not the good kind

So, I have mentioned that I tend to be a hypocondriact, right? Today the day started like any other..and at about 11 I got these really weird pains on my side that moved to my back. I made it through til 2 but then I couldn't go to my 2nd job. I had never felt this kind of pain...too intense to ignore or work through. I ended up driving to the ER, where the triage nurse was convinced it was galbladder issues....but after an ultrasound to rule gallbladder issues out, a MRI to rule out kidney stones and blood and urine samples to rule out infection, the ER doc thought it might be the Estrace. She gave me what they call 'super-Motrin and sent me on my way. Not a good way to start an IVF journey. My wonderful husband said, 'I have a feeling this is just the beginning...'. Being a hypocondriact doesn't mean I like ER's or attention....I do like piece of mind, but I was in a lot of pain. It makes me doubt I can handle the pain of being pregnant and having a child. It makes me wonder what I am putting my body through.

On a different note, I volunteer at my church, and we had a teen mass I had to go to. While sitting there I grabbed the book with all the readings and as I was thumbing through the reading I opened up to was Sam1. The story aboutHannah, who was infertile and promised her child to God if she was able to have one... She did and as promised gave it up to God. I sat there and thought about all the times I made instances like this one into signs. You know like, I had to do an IUI on Christmas, that's a sign. So many times, so many stories. And since I still have hope, I did the same thing this time, sat there and came up with baby names. Wondering how Hannah had the strength to give up her baby.


I still have pain, but not nearly as badly. I am going to the clinic 1st thing to tell them what happened...or to see if my uterus imploded...because it sure felt like it did.

My hope ...that I have the strength to do this.