So close and yet so far...

Went for my blood work today--doctor said it looked fine. 2mg of Estrace in the morning 2mg of Estrace in the evening --BY MOUTH! Then day one, which should be Mon or Tues, call my nurse. Day 3 blood work and ultrasound then stim drugs for 10 days (probably, but of course that depends) and then, ta-da ==retrival. That seems close. How did it go from seeming forever away to so close? This AM I thought-if they make me wait all of March of Estrace I am not going to be able to wait that long, but now, I can't believe we could be pregnant is April (because if PGD happens, then we are looking at snow babies, since they biopsy on Day 5 or 6). We have decided that if they only retrieve and have less than 3 embryos on day 3 --then we most likely won't do PGD. Although I think it could give us more answers, If we have a BFN on IVF #1 and didn't do PGD, we are just going to end up doing it the next time anyway.

Speaking of PGD I went to a local bakery to get my coffee after blood work today and there were these 2 boy (maybe 9-10) with their dad. They were totally acting up--pressing their face against the glass and complaining about cheese in their danish. I try not to silently judge parents since I will be one soon (hopefully) and I don't want to believe other grown ups are judging my parenting skills. Anyway, when I got in the car, I thought, here I am on the brink of being able to pick the gender of my baby--and 2 boys, seems, ummm, scary. Then I thought, maybe we should pick, either we will or a embryologist (that I won't even meet) will, but I feel comfortable with choosing the best 2 (and I still believe, as said in earlier posts, that if they are all the same they do one of each). I know, I know, I will be happy as long as they are healthy--even if they press their faces against glass, in a bakery, with lots of strangers around...silently judging.


My hope for today, that my fellow fertility sisters--find peace in their hope tonight.