Downside of anger

I have been great for over a week, but last night at 2 am, after over a week of being pain free, my side started hurting. I went to the clinic and all is clear, maybe it is just breaking down. The doc today saw the mass again and lining 14. The mass looked less like a sac, then the last time. Hopefully this pain means the #'s are dropping, but I have no clue.I also am just down. I never went back to sleep after 2am. This is not my day, I can't believe yesterday I was 100% and today, nowhere near that.

Hope, the 100's tomorrow.

On the brighter side I had to call the insurance lady at our work today and we were talking about infertility. She told me the story of how she went through all this 20-25 years ago. She ended up adopting two chidden. The second child was really given to her from her gynecologist who delivered a baby to a teen who could not keep it. the moral of the story was she said, you will get you baby, when it is your baby. All of this journey will seem like nothing, just a moment. She said it will all make sense one day. I believe her. She said she would pray for me. She said she remembered sitting in church and the homily was that God will give you whats in your heart. I believe that too.