We should have known

Since it is a holiday weekend, what were we thinkig hoping all of this was coming to an end. Well step right up folks, looks like the roller coaster is back up and running. Since i was s o sure the number would be minimal, I didn't even bring my phone into lunch with me. When i got back in the car, a missed call from my nurse and 2 missed calls from my husband. Still thinking nothing, i called my husband. He said, the nurse called, your number went up. Shock. Why am i always so shocked, you think i would have been over that by now.

Called my nurse and sure enough, 149. And she seemed more shocked than me. She calls me her problem child at this point. We went in around 2:30 and she said that one of the docs said, to give another methotrexate shot. My nurses stepped in and said, i can't tell this girl she needs another shot, isn't there something else we can do at this point. She went to the doc she consults with (and obviosly trusts the most) and he agreed to do a scrapping of the uterus to look for pregnancy tissue. My nurse called the hospital and they agreed to run the pathology in 24 hours (usually takes 7 days). Again she said that she has never waited this long for someone to bleed.

When the doc did the scraping (which hurt so much i said he 'f' word when he was doing it...more than once). He said that perhaps it is just an abnormal pregnancy and was never ectopic. If pregnancy tissue is found in the uterus, than we wait it out (or possibly get a D and C) next week if it starts acting up again. If there is no pregnancy tissue and that number jumps up (they are testing it this weekend i think) then we get the third shot. They did the blood work for the 3rd shot again today to check my kidneys, etc. My feeling is we are getting the shot. Everyone is so nice and I feel really well taken care of, except I think they dont know what the heck is going on. Like all medicine, it is a game of percentages.

I did ask the doctor, a blob came out of me, what was it. He said, maybe it was all this passing throug. But then why two days later is the number creeping up. They think now that there may be a sac type object that is pooling and the doc said, hopefully they got it with the scraping. They also said i would start bleeding more, not yet. Cramping yes, uncomfort, most definitely, bleeding more---not so much.

I suppose the good news is I have let go of the worry. I don't have the emotions anymore to put into this. Now, I am supposed to think thay i am waiting to miscarry, and all along the methotrexate hasn't worked because it is an abnormal pregnancy? Whatever. I get my directions tomorrow, after they get the tissue results. Wanna make bets I am in there tomorrow at 4pm depleting and changing the cells in my body again.

To be honest, I don't know what to hope for except a good ending. Whatever that is.