9dp6dt

I know I know I didn't post on what would seemingly be the most important day yet. My nurse called, mine, not the nurse on duty. She called at 11am and said, 'we have a positive test'. Your Estrogen is low so we want you to take your Estrace again, 2 in the morning and 2 at night starting now. When you come back on tuesaday we will check your thyroid, we do that to everyone sometimes the thyroid can act whacky so we will medicate it if we have to. Your beta was 24. WHOA! 24. I asked if that was a good number (we all know that they want to see 100). She said, that is your baseline, what matters is that number doubles. 3 things could happen it could go up, stay the same or go down. Shock and awe! I said to her like 4 times...'Oh my God, I am in shock'. The dh and I couldn't believe it...shock and awe. And then I started web MD-ing! I have. Read blog after blog after blog...and they all say thhe same thing, it is the doubling that matters not the original number. I even read one woman who started at 30 and ended up with twins.

No matter what happens, our blastocysts worked so hard! I cried when I first saw them on the screen in the retrieval room, they gave us what we have never had, real real hope. They gave us a positive pregnancy test. Although I used to wish that when we found out it would be the normal way. Missed period, pee on a stick, make a doctors appt and 36 week later, bam, baby. Not like this. Fear waiting, waiting fear, good news, then wait, fear then wait (you get the
point). Now I wouldn't change this for the world, not one moment of it all. You know why? Those are our babies...and they did it! They did it.


So I made it all this time without poas-ing. Until after my beta! The line was still pink last night and again this AM. So i hope that means we are trending in the upward direction!

Oh, and then Endometrin spotting. The scariest thing in the world. Spotting. Again, everything says really normal, but totally freaky! I was feeling tentatively optimistic until the following things happened....and i started to really think I am pregnant!
1. I wanted to scream at my husband 2x and he was just being nice.
2. I started getting a headache.


I have to tell you that in this moment I feel confident, even if I eat my words tomorrow. Right now I am pregnant for the first time ever in my life. No matter what happens from this moment on, i know that we will end up with a baby, our baby. Even if not this time. We did it! We got this far! I cannot and will not believe in anything else except that our babies are growing strong.

My hope for today...big beta numbers...like big big...anything between 200-300 will do! Come on babies!