Crab trap

I went to one of my jobs today. I usually work 12 hours on Monday, but today just couldn't go to the 2nd six hours. The job I went to is only 6 hours a week. Nobody knows me I just come, see patients, write notes and leave, that I could handle. Working at my full time job where everyone is so concerned and caring and nice, couldn't do it! On the way home I realized (morbidly) that this could have been my one and only positive pregnancy tes. I know, stay positive. I can't believe I have to test again tomorrow, and then an ultrasound too! This might be my worst trip ever, and worse than Saturday is hard to imagine. And then wait for the sad (but perpetually positive) call from my nurse.

I know this seems unrelated, but I am watching Man vs. Food and they are discussing snow crab, apparently this restaurant in Miami, takes just one claw from the crab at a time. They regenerate their claw and then bam, next year, the other claw comes off...forever. Off with the claw! That is how I feel, like I was just going along and then bam, part of me is gone. I know I will recover (regenerate, per se)....but I don't want to lose any more claws!

Back in February I was embracing the waiting, now I can't believe how much I am dreading it. Yuk. Hurry up and wait, and wait. Apparently I am a glutten for punishment, but I wanted to see my positive one more time so I POAS...sure enough there it is! Of course my numbers are probably in the low 100's so of course it is positive. I just wanted to hold on to one more day.

My hope for today, that my days of likening myself to a snow crab, are coming to an end.